So why am I writing a blog? In a world where every human and their dog* has a social media account offering to share every little intricate detail of their life, why would anyone be interested in mine? The answer. I don’t know. But if you are currently sat reading this very unprofessional first attempt at a personal blog then Hi. That’s me up there, not the hungover me that is slumped on the sofa writing this blog, but the precisely posed insta friendly version of myself drinking a beetroot latte, but we’ll get to that another day.

*@hershel_the_sausage is my miniature dachshund’s Instagram account. When I read that out loud, yes it does make me throw up a little in my mouth.

For me I’ve always thought bloggers fell into one of 4 categories:

Actual legitimate old-school bloggers

Those people that actually started blogging in the late 90s (when I was a little dot in my “you’ll grow into it” jumper starting at school) and were at the forefront of this over-sharing, cultural phenomenon that has taken over our lives.

Technically qualified bloggers

This category encompasses a wide range of people: basically anyone that has a degree relating to the English/Journalism field. These sorts of people can usually splurge a plethora of well written words onto a page in no time at all and make average joes (like me) make it seem unequivocally effortless. They also know the difference between your and you’re* – an essential skill, no, an indisputable requirement of anyone that wants to write a blog in order to ensure they’re not clumsily sharing their blundering Year 2 level grammatical errors.

*this is something that in the words of Sarah Knight I need to let go. Despite people’s inexcusable lack of grammar and their understanding of the role of an apostrophe it isn’t my problem so I need to let that f*** go. They’ll be more on that later…

“Insta-famous” can take a good pic bloggers

Now these people, potentially the biggest group of “writers” out there have literally taken over the world. Now some of you might dispute me classifying these perfectly-posed, filtered influencers being classed as bloggers. Well according to google, a blogger is: a person who regularly writes material for a blog. And what is the explicit explanation of a blog you ask? A blog(a truncation of “weblog”) is a discussion or informational website published on the World Wide Web consisting of discrete, often informal diary-style text entries (posts). Thank you Wikipedia. So yeh I mean technically you’re right to argue, because pretty much every person on the planet would agree that advertising car air fresheners in the shape of plastic gems #Ad is unmistakably not a diary-style discussion of information. Could you imagine? Dear diary, today I bought a car air freshener and it smelled so nice I just had to take a photo with it. Literally kill me now. Anyway what is my point with this? These people share their Instagram lives with the world, on a daily basis (at the right times to ensure maximum likeage of course) and occasionally use their insta platform to share suggestions, tips and recommendations, it might not necessarily be God’s spoken truth #Ad#Gifted, but millions of people, like myself, still follow, believe and fall for the bullshit. So in their own right Instagram influencers are bloggers and they’re bloody good at it and they literally only have to write on sentence – sorry caption !!!!!!

Average joes who just want to write

And finally we reach the Average Joe. The closet creative that likes to write but doesn’t want a diary because we live in a world where we’re obsessed with capturing and sharing to the world! I mean, how would we know people like our diary entry if there’s no like button?? Or there’s The Stay at Home Mum/Dad that wants to share little Xzavier’s food weaning journey and post every meal. Every single meal of different coloured mush. I assume this is obviously very interesting if you have a particular fascination with blended veg. Oh and children of course. Then there’s The Believer that believes their blog can be the next big thing because everyone else has done it so why not me? (I mean the answer’s in the question really: everyone has done it -already). Another sub-category in this over-saturated group is The Mood-Hoover who just wants to complain about everything, just because they can. In other words, an asshole, but they get away with their laborious moaning because it’s a blog. And lastly, The “New Me” blogger who is attempting to change their life and using their new blogging hobby to tell people all about it. The list goes on forever – essentially if you’re not in the first 3, you fit into this one.

Clearly, you’ve probably realised I am the latter. More specifically I technically would be placed into the sub-category of the new me/changing my life blogger. No I haven’t gone Vegan (but that could be a future blog post) or been dumped by my partner and husband to be of 8 years so I’ve turned to Buddhism and blurring lines of cultural appropriation by braiding my hair, it all started when I read a book: The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a F**k.

Guess I’ve just figured about what my next blog post is going to be about…